


daisy fresh and arrow-straight

by sandyk



Series: season 3 tried to be canon post eps [14]
Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: Bi Jonah, F/M, M/M, post 314
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 08:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13923633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: "How could I miss that?" Cheyenne moaned. "You can't ever not schedule me for days where stuff happens again. Do you think Dina will show me the tape?"





	daisy fresh and arrow-straight

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the National's Driver, Surprise Me. For the trope bingo squares handcuffs and interrogation/torture.

"How could I miss that?" Cheyenne moaned. "You can't ever not schedule me for days where stuff happens again. Do you think Dina will show me the tape?"

Amy said, "You betcha. She'd love to."

"Well, I had a good reason to miss the little sad soap opera that is Amy and Jonah and Kelly. Jeff and I are back together," Mateo said.

"I know," Amy said. "You've told me three times."

"It's actual news of something that happened, not just a measly kiss that happened a year ago," Mateo said.

"The tornado wasn't a year ago, it was in July. Which I remember because it was the day after my wedding," Cheyenne said. "That's so great about you and Jeff. Did you tell him you were und--"

"A former UNDerwear model?" Mateo's eyes were super wide. Apparently he and Cheyenne had some sort of secret. Amy really didn't care. "Yes, I told him and he loves me and of course, I was happy to get back together."

"Is Kelly still dating Jonah? I don't understand why, I wouldn't put up with that. I would have thrown my drink at him and if I didn't have a drink, I would get one just to throw in his face," Cheyenne said.

"Kelly's very nice," Amy said.

Mateo said, "Gurl, no one believes you think that. And now we all know why."

"No," Cheyenne said. "Amy's hated Kelly since, like, her first day here. And I don't think Jonah even noticed Kelly until Halloween. Do you think they've had sex?"

"Of course they have," Amy said. "He was sleeping over two days after they started dating and they were going to go away for the weekend. I'm sure they've had sex."

"I don't know," Mateo said. "I saw them kiss once and it was so passionless. I figured it was just a straight kiss thing, but now I know he was just picturing Amy."

"He was not," Amy said. "We didn't, you know, he was over me."

"Oh, no," Cheyenne said. "He was never over you. Or you over him."

"Thanks, Chey," Amy said. "Thanks so much."

"Jeff and I have passion," Mateo said. "Serious passion."

"Can't wait to watch you kiss," Amy said.

"Not in the store," Mateo said. "It's a secret again." Mateo looked over at Amy. "Were you and Jonah secretly dating at some point? That would be hot."

"Nope," Amy said. "Just one secret kiss."

"What if we handcuffed you and tortured you, would you tell us then?" Cheyenne was oddly excited. "I love those scenes in movies. I think I could really kick ass at it. TELL US NOW."

"Just the one kiss," Amy said. 

"You should be careful, girl," Mateo said. "I've heard things about Jonah. From Jeff."

"Why would Jeff know anything about Jonah?" Amy sighed. She really needed to get up from this table. But she didn't want to face anyone she worked with. She barely wanted to be with Cheyenne and Mateo.

"Rex told him all about Jonah, remember him? The guy from corporate who went to business school with Jonah?"

"Yeah, they called Jonah Ice Man because he wore an afghan all the time, I heard," Amy said.

"Nope," Mateo said. "Juicier."

Cheyenne stood up and leaned over Mateo. "TELL ME NOW."

"God, chill, I was just drawing out the drama," Mateo said. "See, the first year, Jonah did great, straight As, all that. Second year, he's starting to burn out and he's dating two people at the same time - an 'open relationship'" - Mateo made air quotes. "One was a guy."

"Seriously?" Cheyenne looked shocked. Amy wasn't even really surprised. Not because Jonah had ever told her, but because it made sense. 

"Seriously," Mateo said.

Cheyenne said, "Is that why you always freaked out when Jeff would go on about how cute Jonah was?"

"No," Mateo said. "Whatever, Jeff likes those kind of bland conventional good looks."

"Me, too," Amy said. Then she realized she said it out loud. 

Cheyenne said, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because I'm an ally," Mateo said. "I wasn't going to out him. Unlike some people who don't even realize they're hot for dudes, aka Marcus, Jonah had made the choice to not say anything."

"Also, competition. With everyone thinking Jonah is straight, you're the second hottest queer guy at that store," Cheyenne said. "With Jonah, you're third."

"I am not," Mateo said. "Who do you think is hotter than me?"

"Marcus, duh. Or Peter if we're sticking with actually out dudes," Cheyenne said. 

"Peter? Come on," Mateo said. "You're totally wrong. You're judging by straight girl standards. You don't know anything."

"Um, clearly Jonah's hot even by not straight standards -- Jeff proves that," Cheyenne said.

"Guys, you're not going to tell everyone, right?" Amy wanted to protect Jonah. Some things should be his choice, unlike the video fiasco. 

"Of course not," Mateo said. "Cheyenne?"

"Yes, I can keep a secret if I need to," Cheyenne said. "You know that, Mateo."

"Fine," Mateo said. "Your boyfriend is safe, Amy."

"He's not my boyfriend, he's still Kelly's boyfriend," Amy said.

Mateo said, "Why are you letting that happen?"

"I'm not letting that happen," Amy said. "It's his choice. He genuinely likes her. I'm sure of it."

"He likes her," Cheyenne said. "Sure. And I guess they have sex. But we all know he wants you."

"And you've had sex with one guy, so you're ready to get back to dating," Mateo said.

Amy smiled. "I've had sex with three guys since I got divorced. You don't know everything."

"None of them were Marcus, right?" Cheyenne looked horrified. 

"Oh my God, no, gross, gross, gross," Amy said 

"You're making that up," Mateo said.

"I'm not," Amy said, smiling wider. "None of them work here. Except Tate."

"So two of them don't," Cheyenne said, clearly doing the math in her head. "Are you gonna dump them for Jonah?"

"I'm not dating either of them, we were just hanging out," Amy said. One was a dad on the PTA, the other had been in her class back when she had taken college courses. Way back when. "Also, again, Jonah is dating Kelly."

"I'm so tired of this conversation," Mateo said. "Come on, Cheyenne, let's go watch that tape. Dina's doing a screening in five minutes."

"Oh, God," Amy said. She rested her forehead on the table. "Fuck," she murmured.


End file.
